I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
