i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
