I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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