so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
