If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
