so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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