Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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