there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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