guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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