Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
