im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
