Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
