Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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