Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
