I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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