How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize