Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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