reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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