R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
