Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
