I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
