honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
