That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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