I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
