So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
