youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
