I CAN MOONWALK!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
