Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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