you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
