I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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