What did we do last night that was yellow?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize