let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
