Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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