I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
