I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
