I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
