Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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