their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
