Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
