he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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