Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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