The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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