my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You smell like stripper and shame
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
