matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
