She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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