I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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