this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
