I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
