The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize