Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
