Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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