its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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