well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
