Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
