they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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