Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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