i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's blow job season.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
