i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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