some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
