Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize