you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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