i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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