The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
