I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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