I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
