Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
