They should really pass out barf bags in church
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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