Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
