I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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