Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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