Cold hands, warm shart.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
